Puck (singing):
That big ass heart can pump two tons of love through her chest
And then sit down and win a lovin' pie-eating contest
And then sit down and win a lovin' pie-eating contest
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Saturday, February 5, 2011
February 5, 2011
Community
Jeff (re: fellow-student "Fat" Neil): That kid in there is severely depressed.
Pierce: Oh yeah, is that what he told you? From the looks of it he's been using that line since he was five years old to get an extra slice of pie!
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
October 13, 2010
Community
(Troy comes upon a wall with a painting of Abed standing in a rainbow tunnel.)
Abed: I made it through. I'm a cartoon now.
Troy: That's impossible.
Abed: Nothing's impossible in here. Animals can talk, your heart is shaped like a heart, and the smell of pie can make you float! You have to believe!
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Sunday, May 2, 2010
May 2, 2010
Community
Jeff: I got a B on my nutrition final and I'm celebrating with pie and a dollop of irony.
Saturday, April 17, 2010
April 17, 2010
Bones
(While researching which weapons could have made a particular mark on a bone)
Wendell: The blade was double-edged with an identical tapering on both sides.
Hodgins: So ... somebody killed her with a really sharp piece of pie.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
April 14, 2010
From the AV Club review of Whipped Lightning (whipped alcohol)
Pumpkin Pie [flavored-whipped booze] brings back memories of hour three of Thanksgiving dinner, but with less yelling.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
February 27, 2010
Blades of Glory
Chazz Michael Michaels: ... I remember Boston. And that victory was as sweet as the cream pie for which the town was named.
Monday, December 21, 2009
Sunday, November 15, 2009
November 15, 2009
The Big Bang Theory
Sheldon: If anything happened to my MeeMaw, I'd be one inconsolable moon pie.
Sheldon: If anything happened to my MeeMaw, I'd be one inconsolable moon pie.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
October 21, 2009
Mysteries of Pittsburgh
Art: ... when a girl asks you if you like pie, there's really only one answer.
Art: ... when a girl asks you if you like pie, there's really only one answer.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
October 18, 2009
Edgar Watson Howe
A boy doesn't have to go to war to be a hero; he can say he doesn't like pie when he sees there isn't enough to go around.
A boy doesn't have to go to war to be a hero; he can say he doesn't like pie when he sees there isn't enough to go around.
Saturday, October 3, 2009
October 3, 2009
Farewell, 'King of the Hill' in Entertainment Weekly
Peggy Hill: Life is a lot like Frito pie. Better when shared with friends, and best with twice the cheese.
Note: What is Frito pie? you may be wondering if you're not from Texas ... Frito pie is not a traditional "pie" at all. It's a pile of Fritos, covered in chili and shredded cheese.
Peggy Hill: Life is a lot like Frito pie. Better when shared with friends, and best with twice the cheese.
Note: What is Frito pie? you may be wondering if you're not from Texas ... Frito pie is not a traditional "pie" at all. It's a pile of Fritos, covered in chili and shredded cheese.
Friday, October 2, 2009
October 2, 2009
Glee
Waiter: Would you like anything else?
Teri: Another piece of grasshopper pie?
Waiter (looking at Teri's three empty plates): What, are you going for the record?
Teri: I'm with child.
Waiter: Would you like anything else?
Teri: Another piece of grasshopper pie?
Waiter (looking at Teri's three empty plates): What, are you going for the record?
Teri: I'm with child.
Monday, August 10, 2009
August 10, 2009
True Blood
Pie Shop Waitress (with a blank stare, after being asked about a missing server): No ma'am, no sir, I don't know any Cindy. But I can recommend the fried apple pie, the frozen Hawaiian pie, chocolate pecan pie, chess pie, seven-layer Jello pie --
Buster (out of nowhere): They have the peanut butter pie and the Spunky Hollow Honey Pineapple Pie, please Harley?
Sam: We will?
Pie Shop Waitress (with a blank stare, after being asked about a missing server): No ma'am, no sir, I don't know any Cindy. But I can recommend the fried apple pie, the frozen Hawaiian pie, chocolate pecan pie, chess pie, seven-layer Jello pie --
Buster (out of nowhere): They have the peanut butter pie and the Spunky Hollow Honey Pineapple Pie, please Harley?
Sam: We will?
Saturday, June 6, 2009
June 6, 2009
Michelle, upon looking at the decadent dessert selections at Gaido's in Galveston:
"Do you have a lettuce pie?"
"Do you have a lettuce pie?"
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
May 5, 2009
How I Met Your Mother
Marshall: This is a pie chart - describing my favorite bars. And this is a bar graph, describing my favorite pies.
Marshall: This is a pie chart - describing my favorite bars. And this is a bar graph, describing my favorite pies.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
March 18. 2008
The Daily Show
Jon Stewart (to Mad Money host, Jim Cramer): This (rant at CNBC) was not, uh, directed at you per se ... I just want to let you know that. We threw some banana cream pies @ CNBC. You got a little -- obviously -- schmutz on your jacket from it. You took exception. And then, we decided to hit you with pie.
Jon Stewart (to Mad Money host, Jim Cramer): This (rant at CNBC) was not, uh, directed at you per se ... I just want to let you know that. We threw some banana cream pies @ CNBC. You got a little -- obviously -- schmutz on your jacket from it. You took exception. And then, we decided to hit you with pie.
Saturday, March 7, 2009
March 7, 2009
"My Migas" by Mary-Louise Parker, in Esquire magazine
Often the best time to make breakfast is the night before, while you are still drunk. Next time this happens, why not whip up a migas pie before passing out with your toothbrush clutched in your hand? ... (Instructions ensue). Cook the pie for 45 minutes at 375. While it cooks is an excellent time to drunk-dial. If you are rejected or you get voice mail too many times in a row, do a crossword to keep the mood light until the pie is ready. You didn't want to hang out anyway, and in the morning you'll have hearty goodness to eat with Coke Classic on ice.
Often the best time to make breakfast is the night before, while you are still drunk. Next time this happens, why not whip up a migas pie before passing out with your toothbrush clutched in your hand? ... (Instructions ensue). Cook the pie for 45 minutes at 375. While it cooks is an excellent time to drunk-dial. If you are rejected or you get voice mail too many times in a row, do a crossword to keep the mood light until the pie is ready. You didn't want to hang out anyway, and in the morning you'll have hearty goodness to eat with Coke Classic on ice.
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