Wednesday, December 31, 2008

December 31, 2008

Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey

When you die, if you get a choice between going to regular heaven or pie heaven, choose pie heaven. It might be a trick, but if it’s not, ummm boy.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

December 30, 2008


Jenna’s Mother’s Song:

Baby don’t you cry
Gonna make a
Gonna make a
With a heart in the middle

Baby don’t be blue
Gonna make for you
Gonna make a pie
With a heart in the middle

Gonna be a pie from Heaven above
Gonna be filled with strawberry love …

Monday, December 29, 2008

December 29, 2008

The Simpsons

Homer: Boy, that pie looks good.

Waitress: Open your gullet, you human blob.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

December 28, 2008

Pushing Daisies

Chuck: I baked antidepressants into her pies.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

December 27, 2008

Winter's Tale, by Mark Helprin

p. 524 Hardesty: "How fast can you load that thing?"

Mrs. Gamely: "Fast enough to keep a pie plate in the air."

Friday, December 26, 2008

December 26, 2008


JD: You're a pie racist!

Thursday, December 25, 2008

December 25, 2008 - Christmas Pie

Swan among the Indians: life of James G. Swan, 1818-1900; based upon Swan's hitherto unpublished diaries and journals, by Lucile Saunders McDonald

On December 25, 1861, three "Boston men" sat down to Christmas dinner in the trading post established four years earlier at the edge of the Makah Indian reservation, Washington Territory, USA.

The traditional holiday was a welcome break from the unloading and distribution of a shipment of goods promised to the Makah by the treaty they had signed in 1855. James Swan, a periodic resident in Neah Bay, had, in the absence of the trader, prepared a feast of roast goose and duck stew, presenting for dessert a mince pie made from whale meat. The Indians, he wrote later, had brought him a fresh piece of whale meat months earlier that looked every bit as good as red beef. He had boiled it and cut it finely, adding chopped apples and wild cranberries, raisins, currants, salt, nutmeg, cloves, allspice, cinnamon, and brown sugar. After packing it into a ten-gallon stone jar, he had added a quart of New England rum and sealed it for future use.

Would the traditional mince pie, he worried, be welcomed if the diners learned it was made from whale? Yankee mincemeat was made from domestic animals or venison. His fears were soon dispelled. The small portions he had cautiously served were quickly downed and second helpings demanded by all.

Click here for an extended history of mincemeat pie (courtesy of What's Cooking America) -- it's delicious!

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

December 24, 2008 - Christmas Eve Pie

The entire Bible story -- told by pies.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

December 23, 2008 - Christmas Pie

Home for the Holidays

I met a man who lives in Tennessee
He was headin' for Pennsylvania
and some home made pumpkin pie.
From Pennsylvania, folks are travelin' down
To Dixie's sunny shore.
From Atlantic to Pacific,
Gee, the traffic is terrific.

Monday, December 22, 2008

December 22, 2008 - Christmas Pie

Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree

Rockin' around the Christmas tree
Let the Christmas spirit ring
Later we'll have some pumpkin pie
And we'll do some caroling.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

December 21 - Winter Solstice Pie!

Enjoy! Merry Christmas and best wishes of the season from everyone here at Pie of the Day!

The Christians and the Pagans, by Dar Williams

The food was great, the tree plugged in,
the meal had gone without a hitch
Till Timmy turned to Amber and said,
"Is it true that you're a witch?"
His mom jumped up and said,
"The pies are burning," and she hit the kitchen

And it was Jane who spoke,
she said, "It's true, your cousin's not a Christian
But we love trees, we love the snow,
the friends we have, the world we share
And you find magic from your God,
and we find magic everywhere"

So the Christians and the Pagans sat together at the table
Finding faith and common ground the best that they were able
And where does magic come from? I think magic's in the learning
Cause now when Christians sit with Pagans only pumpkin pies are burning

Saturday, December 20, 2008

December 20, 2008 - Christmas Pie

Antique Christmas ABC Book:

L is for Luggage
By quick train despatched

M is for Mince Pies
All sugar and plums

N is for Nutcrackers
For saving our gums

Friday, December 19, 2008

December 19, 2008

Gilmore Girls

Black sheep daughter of Harvard alums: … stupid manager made me cover for Fiona today … that girl’s a major piecrust.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

December 18, 2008

The Simpsons

Lisa stands outside her first Mensa meeting holding a dessert.

Voice from inside: Lisa Simpson, are you ready to go on a voyage of self-discovery?

Lisa: Yes.

Voice: Is that a pie … or a quiche?

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

December 17, 2008

Pushing Daisies

Chuck: There’s a traffic jam of pies waiting to exit into the oven.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

December 16, 2008


Jenna: “Baby Screamin’ Its Head Off In the Middle a’ the Night and Ruinin’ My Life Pie.”

Monday, December 15, 2008

December 15, 2008


Piphilology is the practice of writing such that the number of letters in each word corresponds to a digit of pi. Words of at least eleven letters correspond to two digits of pi. Some examples of piphilology are:

Pie. I wish I could determine pi. "Eureka!" cried the great inventor.
"Christmas pudding, Christmas pie, is the problem's very center!" (Also found starting with "How I wish I could recollect pi.")

Sunday, December 14, 2008

December 14, 2008

Special Topics in Calamity Physics, by Marisha Pessl

p. 102: I especially detested the occasions Hanna referred to Jade’s beauty, as she turned into the sweetiest of all sweetie pies, Little Miss Broadway.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

December 13, 2008

Gilmore Girls

Jackson: You name the fruit, it’ll be in one of her pies.

Friday, December 12, 2008

December 12, 2008

The Simpsons

Mr. Burns (to Homer): Play along, chubsy … there’s a pie in it for you.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

December 11, 2008


Sock: I’m going to go in there and talk to Mrs. Carmona. Sweet little Mrs. Carmona … (wistfully) see if she has any more pie.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

December 10, 2008

Pushing Daisies

Emerson: You know, you gotta peel back that piecrust you workin’ under and turn on the news sometime.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

December 9, 2008, on why you should see Waitress instead of Pirates of the Caribbean:

Who needs hot pirates when you've got hot pies?

Monday, December 8, 2008

December 8, 2008

Twin Peaks

Log Lady: This cherry pie is a miracle.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

December 7, 2008

"A Better Brew," by Burkhard Bilger, in The New Yorker

Dan Calagione, owner of Dogfish Head Brewery: ... I'm frustrated that one beer has been hammered down people's throats. I mean, banana cream pie may be your favorite fucking food. But if you ate banana cream pie every day you would hate it, too.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

December 6, 2008

Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog

Penny: Sometimes people are layered like that. There's something totally different underneath than what's on the surface.

Dr. Horrible/Billy: And sometimes there's a third even deeper level. And that one is the same as the top, surface level.

Penny: Huh?

Dr. H/Billy: Like with pie.

Friday, December 5, 2008

December 5, 2008

Whoopi Goldberg: We'd sit backstage and talk about names we'd never give our children, like Pork Pie or Independence. Of course, now people are walking around with those names.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

December 4, 2008

Winter's Tale, by Mark Helprin

p. 552: Thousands of tents were pitched on the ice, rivaling the snow palaces …. Roasted meats, hot drinks, and fragrant fruit pies that were baked in brick ovens which had been built on the ice, were everywhere and cheap.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

December 3, 2008

T 4 2, by Lee Glickstein and Nancy Salomon, in Tougher Tuesday Crosswords

25 Down: Pies in the sky?
Answer: UFOs

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

December 2, 2008


Jenna: We make all the pies there fresh … breakfast pies, dinner pies. Twenty-seven different varieties of pie. And a new one that I create every day.

Monday, December 1, 2008

December 1, 2008

Pushing Daisies

Olive: Counter-intelligence via pie delivery. Like gossiping with a purpose.

Sunday, November 30, 2008

November 30, 2008

Sweeney Todd

Mr. Todd: What is that?

Mrs. Lovett: Its fop, finest in the shop, or we have some Shepherds pie peppered with actual Shepherd on top, and I've just begun, here's the politician so oily it's served with a doily have one!

Saturday, November 29, 2008

November 29, 2008

The Simpsons

Lisa: I dedicate this pie to the backbone of the feudal system – the serfs.

Friday, November 28, 2008

November 28, 2008

The Daily Show

Jason Jones (to a member of the Alaskan Independence Party): I mean, why would you want to leave America -- mom, apple pie, bald eagles ... regular eagles?

Member of AIP: You're a complete jackass.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Thanksgiving Disturbia from Martha Stewart

A modest proposal anyone?

Martha Stewart: Well, doesn't this look like a beautiful Thanksgiving table? This is all kinds of delicious food. Well, if you look closely you'll see that this isn't a turky at all... and this is not really a lobster ... and this? This cute little lemon meringue pie is actually Hudson King ... (coos at baby stuffed in faux-pie) yes! And he's smiling! And look at this -- Cannon Thomas is fast asleep under her apple pie! She just loves this costume. She has a little knife to cut the pie ... and a little pie server ... Sonia's having a little hard time being a Caesar salad. She wanted to be a pie.

Happy Thanksgiving -- A pie gift for you!

Courtesy of the Three Stooges ...

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

November 26, 2008 - Thanksgiving Pie

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Anya (re: Thanksgiving): To commemorate a past event, you kill and eat an animal. It’s a ritual sacrifice. With pie.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

November 25, 2008 - Thanksgiving Pie

Saturday Night Live

Adam Sandler (Thanksgiving song):

Turkey and sweet potato pie
Sammy Davis Jr. only had one eye.

Monday, November 24, 2008

November 24, 2008 - Thanksgiving Pie

That 70’s Show

Kelso: It’s Thanksgiving. Some people bake pies. We bake ourselves.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

November 23, 2008 - Thanksgiving Pie


Conrad: This ain’t Driving Miss Daisy. I ain’t about to feed you no Thanksgiving pie.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

November 22, 2008 - Thanksgiving Pie


Joey: You can’t have Thanksgiving without turkey. That’s like fourth of July without apple pie, or Friday with no two pizzas.

Friday, November 21, 2008

November 21, 2008

Carl Sagan: If you wish to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

November 20, 2008

Special Topics in Calamity Physics, by Marisha Pessl

p. 214: “Where is everyone? Where’s Hannah?”
She made a face. “At her house. They’re making apple pie and watching Heaven and Earth. You guessed it. They ditched you.”

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

November 19, 2008

Gilmore Girls

Lorelei: You’d never fall asleep … or chase a pie.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

November 18, 2008

Mike Rosen

Non-supply siders: Concern themselves with 'How to divide up a pie.'
Supply siders: Concern themselves with 'How to make a bigger pie.'

Monday, November 17, 2008

November 17, 2008

Attributed to Edward Young and to E.B. White

The future... seems to me no unified dream but a mince pie, long in the baking, never quite done.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

November 16, 2008

The Simpsons

Marge: Wonderful news, Homer.

Homer: Is it about pies?

Saturday, November 15, 2008

November 15, 2008


Joe: Once you’re done wipin’ away all your indiscretions, I’ll be sittin’ in my booth wantin’ fresh squeezed orange juice, no ice and a “Spanish Dancer Pie” with potato crust.

Friday, November 14, 2008

November 14, 2008

Pushing Daisies

Chuck and Olive: Don’t mess with the Pie Ho’s.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

November 13, 2008

Harold and Maude

Maude: Here we are. Oat straw tea and ginger pie. Excuse the mismatched saucers.

November 12, 2008

Family Guy

Stewie: Hey, New Brian. Oh, I see you're having pie. You know pie isn't really pie without Cool Hwip.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

November 11, 2008

Family Guy

Stewie: Ohh, you got some pie, huh? Can I have a piece?

Brain: Uh, sure.

Stewie: Ooh. Lemme have some of that cool hwip.

Brian: What’d you say?

Stewie: You can’t have pie without Cool Hwip.

Monday, November 10, 2008

November 10, 2008 -- even more evidence Barack will be the Pie President

The Daily Show

Aasif Mandvi (re: the "young" Obama meeting with the old "decrepit" Bush): What you didn't see there was Barack Obama lovingly, carefully feeding President Bush pie.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

November 9, 2008 - More evidence Barack will be the Pie President

The Daily Show

Jon Stewart (re: the friendly attitude amongst New Yorkers since the election): I'm literally afraid that someone on the street is going to invite me over for pie ... it's this weird spirit of something-or-other that's going on. I don't care for it.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

November 8, 2008

The Wide Window, by Lemony Snicket

There are two kinds of fears: rational and irrational - or, in simpler terms, fears that make sense and fears that don't. For instance, the Baudelaire orphans have a fear of Count Olaf, which makes perfect sense, because he is an evil man who wants to destroy them. But if they were afraid of lemon meringue pie, this would be an irrational fear, because lemon meringue pie is delicious and would never hurt a soul.

Friday, November 7, 2008

November 7, 2008

The Song of the Mad Prince, by Walter de la Mare

Who said "Peacock Pie"?
The old king to the sparrow.
Who said "Crops are ripe"?
Rust to the harrow.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

November 6, 2008

Charles Dudley Warner: Mud-pies gratify one of our first and best instincts. So long as we are dirty, we are pure.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

November 5, 2008


Jenna: … I even brought you a piece of today’s special – “Kick in the Pants Pie.”

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

November 4, 2008 - O Happy Day!

"Obama and Sweet Potato Pie", by Mark Danner, in The New York Times:

When Obama launched into his story with "Because I love pie," a woman out in that sea of cheering, laughing people shouted back, "I'll make you pie, baby!" and to the general hooting laughter the candidate returned, "Oh yeah, you gonna make me pie?" Then, after a beat, amid even more raucous laughter, and several other female voices shouting out invitations, "You gonna make me sweet potato pie? " More shouts and laughter. "All you gonna make me pie?"

Monday, November 3, 2008

November 3, 2008

The Simpsons: Treehouse of Horror 19

Milhouse (praying to the Grand Pumpkin): I believe in the Grand Pumpkin, almighty Gourd, who was crustified over Pontius Pieplate and ascended into oven. He will come again to judge the filling and the bread ... (looks around but there is noone there) Sigh.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

November 2, 2008

When Harry Met Sally

Waitress: What can I get you?

Harry: I'll have the Number Three.

Sally: I'd like the chef salad, please, with the oil and vinegar on the side. And the apple pie a la mode....But I'd like the pie heated, and I don't want the ice cream on top. I want it on the side. And I'd like strawberry instead of vanilla if you have it. If not, then no ice cream, just whipped cream, but only if it's real. If it's out of a can, then nothing.

Waitress: Not even the pie?

Sally: No, just the pie. But then not heated.

Waitress: Uh-huh.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Official Endorsement for President

Our coveted endorsement goes to Barack Obama.

Isn't it time we have a president who is not afraid to admit he likes pie?

Barack Obama: So we pulled up to this diner where people told us we could get some good pie ... and I like pie. You like pie too?

Vote November 4th.

Friday, October 31, 2008

October 31, 2008 - Happy Halloween!

The Simpsons

Homer’s mother, who has sneaked into the house, holds out a pie.

Homer: Mom! You’re alive … and you baked a pie! (digs into pie)

Marge: Homie? What’s going on?

Homer: I’m fighting a robber. You go get ice cream.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

October 30, 2008

Gilmore Girls

Sookie: Do you want some pie?

Rory: Oh … I never say no to pie.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

October 29, 2008

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Joyce: I think we’re just about ready for pie.

Xander: Then I’ll be pretty much ready for barf.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

October 28, 2008

Pushing Daisies

Vivian: To be honest, I wasn’t craving pie, I was craving company.

Monday, October 27, 2008

October 27, 2008

Winnie-The-Pooh, by A.A. Milne

Cottleston, cottleston, cottleston pie,

A fly can't bird, but a bird can fly.
Ask me a riddle and I reply,
Cottleston, cottleston, cottleston pie.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

October 26, 2008

Johnny Cash (re: country music): I think it speaks to our basic fundamental feelings, you know. Of emotions, of love, of breakup, of love and hate and death and dying, mama, apple pie, and the whole thing. It covers a lot of territory, country music does.

Saturday, October 25, 2008

October 25, 2008

Popwatch blog, on

(re: Nathan Fillion and exorcising the memory of his evil Caleb performance on Buffy the Vampire Slayer): Thanks to a few slices of watching-him-have-sex-with-Keri-Russell pie, I've done it.

Friday, October 24, 2008

October 24, 2008

Tougher Tuesday Crosswords, “Eat Your Veggies!” by Patrick Berry

52 Across: Yet another “vegetable" that kids don’t mind eating

Thursday, October 23, 2008

October 23, 2008

Eugene Field:
The best of all physicians
Is apple pie and cheese!

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

October 22, 2008

Sweeney Todd

Mrs. Lovett: Mrs Mooney had a pie shop,
does her business - but I notice something weird!
Lately all her neighbors' cats have disappeared.
Have to hand it to her, wot I calls, enterprise,
popping pussies into pies.
Wouldn't do in my shop,
just the thought of it's enough to make you sick,
and i'm telling ya them pussy cats is quick.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

October 21, 2008

The Simpsons

Little Marge: You sound so sweet.

Little Homer: That’s ‘cause I’ve eaten sixteen pieces of pie.

Monday, October 20, 2008

October 20, 3008

Pushing Daisies

Chuck: He’s the lord of the pies.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

October 19, 2008

Gilmore Girls

Lorelai: I voiced my concerns, you told me your plans, we had pie … it’s cool.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

October 18, 2008


Janet: Your pie is on the stoop.

Friday, October 17, 2008

October 17, 2008

Kath and Kim

Kim: Can I have some more fried wontons?

Kath: Uh … no.

Phil: Whew … fried wontons. Boy, you know when I was Big Phil I loved my fried wontons … and my pizza … and my pie.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

October 16, 2008

Well, okay. We didn't HAVE to. It's not like our mom told us to do it or there'd be no pie for us, missy.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

October 15, 2008


Becky: … just once in my life I’d like to be able to make a pie half as good as you can make a pie.

October 14, 2008


Bones: You’re just having coffee? Don’t you want pie?

Booth: I’m fine.

Bones: But you always have pie.

Booth: Can we stop talking about pie?

Bones: Is it because of what Sweets said?

Booth: I’m just going pie-less, OK?

Monday, October 13, 2008

October 13, 2008

Cotton commercial: Joy is not like a pie. The more you share it, the bigger it grows.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

October 12, 2008

Pushing Daisies

Emerson: It is not okay for a grown-ass man to weep in public with a bunch of happy families enjoying pie.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

October 11, 2008

American Pie

Jim: Guys, uh, what exactly does third base feel like?

Kevin: You want to take this one?

Oz: Like warm apple pie.

Jim: Yeah?

Oz: Yeah.

Jim: Apple pie, huh?

Oz: Uh huh.

Jim: McDonald's or homemade?

Friday, October 10, 2008

October 10, 2008

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Anya: I liked his wife. She gave me pie.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

October 9, 2008

The Simpsons

Marge: I really shouldn’t show up without an apple pie for Dwight. In fact, I really shouldn’t show up without an apple pie for everyone at the prison.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

October 8, 2008

Special Topics in Calamity Physics, by Marisha Pessl

p. 245: … Hannah was frowning as she rubbed her thumb around the rim of her wineglass and her eyes, they kept moving between my face and the wineglass, the piece of apple pie (that looked like it’d been stepped on) back to the wine glass.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

October 7, 2008

Gilmore Girls

Jackson: Never see a pie before an auction. It’s bad luck.

Monday, October 6, 2008

October 6, 2008


Roger (entering the kitchen in suit and tie): Ooh. Hot apple pie. Now that’s the way to start off a week.

Janet: The pie is not for you. (swats Roger’s hand away)

Roger: Ah, come on. Just one tiny little slice?

Janet: Sorry.

Trina (enters … naked): Oh for Pete’s sake Janet. Let the man have some pie. God knows the poor guy can use a little pie. (scoops some pie on a finger and feeds it to Roger).

Janet: Roger!

(It’s just a dream …)

Sunday, October 5, 2008

October 5, 2008

Pushing Daisies

Lily: She insisted on coming all this way just to ask why you stopped delivering pies.

Olive: I'm flaky.

Saturday, October 4, 2008

October 4, 2008

Family Guy

Meg: I wanted to thank you for being so great to me, so I baked you a pie.

Brian: Oh wow. Hey, that looks delicious … mmm … whoa, this is good. What’s in there?

Meg: Well there’s some apples, some cinnamon, and … my hair.

Brian: What?

Meg: My hair’s in the pie, Brian. And now it’s inside of you. Part of me. Is inside of you, Brian.

Friday, October 3, 2008

October 3, 2008


Jenna: I’m callin it “I Don’t Want Earl’s Baby Pie.

Dawn: I don’t think we can write that on the menu board, hon.

Jenna: Then I’ll just call it “Bad Baby Pie.”

Thursday, October 2, 2008

October 2, 2008

Headline on a review of Big Love,

Solving For Pie

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

October 1, 2008

The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time, by Mark Haddon

p. 121. Father: “And you know what that bloody dog was like after the operation. Bloody schizophrenic. Nice as pie one moment, roll over, tickle its stomach. Sink its teeth into your leg the next. …”

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

September 30, 2008

Cherry Pie, by Warrant

She's my cherry pie
Cool drink of water
Such a sweet suprise
Taste so good
Make a grown man cry
Sweet cherry pie

Monday, September 29, 2008

September 29, 2008

When Harry Met Sally

Harry: But I would be proud to partake of your pecan pie.

Sunday, September 28, 2008

September 28, 2008

Saturday Night Live

John McCain: Jim. I would like to take this opportunity to make my opponent a proposal: effective immediately, each of us suspend our campaigns and instead hold a series of three pie-eating contests.

Saturday, September 27, 2008

September 27, 2008

Darcy Dycha: I dreamt you made a melon pie. It was green. It was gross ... I thought it was key lime, but then I was like, "What are these chunks?"

Friday, September 26, 2008

September 26, 2008

The Simpsons

Krusty: That chap’s a genius. He’s going to change the way we think about getting hit by pies.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

September 25, 2008

Gilmore Girls

Sookie: It’s like pie. Only it’s soup. It’s pie soup.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

September 24, 2008

Pushing Daisies

Chuck: A slice of pie is too much for some customers. A cup-pie’d be perfect.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

September 23, 2008 - Spirit Unbroken by Ike!

The Vile Village, by Lemony Snicket

If you are baking a pie for your friends, and you read an article entitled "How to Build a Chair" instead of a cookbook, your pie will probably end up tasting like wood and nails instead of like crust and fruity filling.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

On hiatus ...

... due to Hurricane Ike. Blue plate specials to return when the lights come on.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

September 10, 2008

Veronica Mars

Gia (handing Veronica cupcakes): That’s for saving my life.

Veronica: What do I have to do for a pie?

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

September 9, 2008

The Brothers Karamazov, by Fyodor Dostoevsky

p. 451: He gave formal dinners, too, under all sorts of pretexts, sometimes even the most unexpected. The food he served, though not refined, was abundant, the cabbage pies were excellent, and the wines made up in quantity for what they lacked in quality.

Monday, September 8, 2008

September 8, 2008

R.W. Emerson

(when asked why New Englanders eat pie for breakfast) What else is pie for?

Sunday, September 7, 2008

September 7, 2008 - Actresses Compared to Pies

Movie critic, in a review of Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion:

… the pie-faced Mira Sorvino

Saturday, September 6, 2008

September 6, 2008 - Actresses Compared to Pies

Chris Nashawaty, in Entertainment Weekly:

Stiles [Julia], whose pretty face is as alabaster white and round as a moon pie

Friday, September 5, 2008

September 5, 2008

Pushing Daisies

Narrator: You may enjoy the pie, even after you die.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

September 4, 2008

Adam Gopnick, writing on Joseph Cornell in the New Yorker:

He called his best New York moments – when the cafeteria pie and the light in the window and the knowledge of having found the right old print on Fourth Avenue all came together – “sparkings,” a “conspiracy of events to produce this miracle of grace.”

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

September 3, 2008

AO Scott in The New York Times, reviewing My Blueberry Nights

Of all the pie joints in the world, she had to walk into his.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

September 2, 2008

Title of novel by Mary Ann Shaffer:

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society

Monday, September 1, 2008

September 1, 2008

The Simpsons

Bart (to Milo – comic book store owner): All right, I get it. You’re cool. You’re not mainstream. You wear a porkpie hat.

Cut to Homer at the nuclear plant.

Homer: Hmm … pork pie.

Sunday, August 31, 2008

August 31, 2008


Dawn: I don’t care if she is a pie genius. I wouldn’t trade places with her.

Saturday, August 30, 2008

August 30, 2008

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Buffy (on returning to college): Maybe I should ease back in with some non-taxing classes like … Introduction to Pies or Advanced Walking.

Friday, August 29, 2008

August 29, 2008

A fifth-grade student, in his free choice homework writing:

I despise all pies except pumpkin pie.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

August 28, 2008

Pushing Daisies

Narrator: The expression “pie in the sky” entered popular culture in 1911. It refers to a dessert so sweet it can only be found in heaven.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

August 27, 2008

Special Topics in Calamity Physics, by Marisha Pessl

p. 140: … but one didn’t have to go inside [the restaurant] to know the menus were sticky, the tables seasoned with pie crumb, the waitress crabby, the clientele beefy.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

August 26, 2008


George: That’s pie country. They do a lot of baking up there.

Monday, August 25, 2008

August 25, 2008

Will and Grace

Karen: Shut your pansy piehole!

Sunday, August 24, 2008

August 24, 2008

As The World Turns (contributed by Kelly Millner)
see yesterday's post for more with Jack and Janet.

Janet:Can I take your order?

Jack:Yeah, I've had a really tough day and I'm looking for something sweet. Is there anything you recommend?

Janet:Banana Cream Pie's pretty good.

Jack:Well, it's no tiramisu - but I guess it'll have to do.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

August 23, 2008

As The World Turns (contributed by Kelly Millner)

Janet: Open wide.

Jack: What's with the banana cream pie? How's that supposed to help?

Janet: It's supposed to make you feel better... Look, you've had a rough night. It can't be easy arresting your cousin's husband. People talk around here. I listen.

Jack: I really don't want to get into it.

Janet: I know you don't want to talk, In fact, I don't think we should talk. Because you and me we're not about talking. We're about sex. Uncomplicated sex.

Jack: Alright - And you're still OK with that?

Janet: Oh, Yeah -It's all about sex and pie - Pie and sex! C'mon! Have a taste ...

(She shoves a forkful of pie into his mouth)

Friday, August 22, 2008

August 22, 2008

Juno (contributed by Kelly Millner)

Women Now Receptionist: Would you like a free condom? They're Boysenberry.

Juno: No, I'm off sex right now.

WN Receptionist: My boyfriend uses them every time we have intercourse. They make his junk smell like pie.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

August 21, 2008


Spy(holding out a pie): We have a little homework for you.

Sydney: You want us to eat this pie?

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

August 20, 2008

The Simpsons

Homer (approaching the kitchen, thinking there is a burglar inside): I smell apples … cinnamon … crust (sniffs). It’s a pie! Why would a robber make a pie?

Bart: Who cares? If you kill him, we’ll be on TV.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

August 19, 2008

Pushing Daisies

Olive: I was in shock after I lost my Pie.

Monday, August 18, 2008

August 18, 2008

Mysterious Skin

Mrs. Lackey: Now hold on you two. Why don’t we head to the front room and continue the conversation over the peanut butter peach pie I baked for the occasion.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

August 17, 2008

Saturday Night Live

Target Lady: Double whammy! (holds up sweatpants and Nilla wafers) I can’t wait to sew these footholes shut, fill ‘em with potpourri and hang them from the rafters in my attic and then have my friends over to smell it and serve them pie!

Saturday, August 16, 2008

August 16, 2008

Aliens in America

Franny (shouting out of car to her son, Justin): I love you, pumpkin pie. And don't forget to pick up those Sound of Music tickets.

Bully (to Justin): Hey, pumpkin pie.

Friday, August 15, 2008

August 15, 2008


Jenna: Mama used to call this “Lonely Chicago Pie.” She made hundreds of different pies. They all had real strange names like “Car Radio Pie” or “Jenna’s First Kiss Pie.”

Thursday, August 14, 2008

August 14, 2008

Name of production company:

Pie Town Productions

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

August 13, 2008

Jane Eyre, by Charlotte Bronte

Jane: While I picked the fruit, and she made the paste for the pies, she proceeded to give me sundry details about her deceased master and mistress and “the childer” as she called the young people.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

August 12, 2008

Gilmore Girls

Luke (to Jess): Ah … you’re like the all-American boy.

Jess: Call me Dirk Squarejaw.

Luke: Look at you. Eatin’ apple pie.

Jess: I’m outta here.

Luke: Hey, wave a flag, and sing God Bless America. Please.

Monday, August 11, 2008

August 11, 2008

Deadwood (My all-time favorite pie quote!)

Bullock: You pie-faced cocksucker … get in here and account for your insult.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

August 10, 2008

Pushing Daisies

Olive: A slice of pie can’t solve all their problems.

Chuck: We just need to give them stronger pie and a little push … into the water.

Saturday, August 9, 2008

August 9, 2008


Susan: Everybody back off. Take a breath. We need to ... pie.

Friday, August 8, 2008

August 8, 2008

The Simpsons

Marge (suggesting a new ending for Itchy and Scratchy): Couldn’t Itchy share his pie with Scratchy and then they’ll both have pie?

Thursday, August 7, 2008

August 7, 2008


Dewey: What can I do for you folks?

Truman Capote: Well, you can begin by serving me a large slice of humble pie. I’ve come to apologize for acting too big for my britches.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

August 6, 2008

A Daily Show

Jon Stewart: (on the relative superiority of New York vs. Boston): Obviously, Boston has got great things. Uh … you got your cream pies … your strangler … your … uh … your massacre … your baked beans.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

August 5, 2008

How I Met Your Mother

Robin: Hey. Did you know that the first pies in recorded history came from ancient Egypt?

Monday, August 4, 2008

August 4, 2008

How I Met Your Mother

Robin: I’d already broken the ice with my cool pie fact.

(See tomorrow's post for the cool fact.)

Sunday, August 3, 2008

August 3, 2008

Pushing Daisies

Ned: You can have your pie but you can’t eat it. That’s the way it works.

Saturday, August 2, 2008

August 2, 2008


Jenna: “Marshmallow Mermaid Pie” – I invented it when I was nine years old … in my mermaid phase.

Friday, August 1, 2008

August 1, 2008

From a New Yorker article on pie-related books:

After months of near starvation, they (POWs) were freed by American G.I.s armed with rations of “liberation” cherry pies.

Thursday, July 31, 2008

July 31, 2008

Special Topics in Calamity Physics, by Marisha Pessl

p. 45: And thus it was with great fanfare Dad unveiled over rhubarb pie at the Qwik Stop Diner outside of Limain, Kansas (“Ding! Dong! The witch is dead,” he sang facetiously, causing the waitress to frown at us suspiciously) that for the entirety of my high school senior year … we would reside in a single location.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

July 30, 2008

A Winter's Tale, by Mark Helprin

p. 316, Virginia Gamely: “In all the world there’s only one saxophone pie (it’s made with peaches, resin, blueberries, and mint) …”

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

July 29, 2008

The Simpsons

Ron Howard: You can’t lose the pie. The pie’s your heart.

Monday, July 28, 2008

July 28, 2008

King of the Hill

Dale: I can’t afford to be out of commission for three days. As one of Arlen’s leading skeptics I’ve got my fingers in a lot of pies.

Sunday, July 27, 2008

July 27, 2008


Sock: Hello … Mrs. Carmona? Hi. It’s Sock. Remember me? I just … uh … drivin’ by, I thought I smelled some of that delicious p – (finds her shoe, suspiciously abandoned on the floor) PIE?

Saturday, July 26, 2008

July 26, 2008

Patty Griffin, Making Pies

Here I am
Walking the block
To TableTalk
You could cry or die
Or just make pies all day
I'm making pies
Making pies
Making pies
Making pies

Friday, July 25, 2008

July 25, 2008

Veronica Mars

Logan (in Southern accent): Ah do declare, that was the finest Frito pie I believe I have ever tasted.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

July 24, 2008

Pushing Daisies

Ned: I’m a purist. I like that we only serve traditional pies in the Pie Hole … not these hybrids.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

July 23, 2008

Sex and Candy, by Marcy Playground

There she was … like double cherry pie.
There she was … like disco super-fly
I smell sex and candy …

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

July 22, 2008

Eva McGuire: I don’t like a cooked fruit pie – never have. Never will.

Monday, July 21, 2008

July 21, 2008

My Name is Earl

Earl: I love pie … and as people do when they eat pie, we talked.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

July 20, 2008

Gilmore Girls

Lorelai: Well, I’m attracted to pie, doesn’t mean I feel the need to date pie.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

July 19, 2008 - America and Pie

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Anya (as Giles is readying to go to England): We brought you some lovely parting gifts (holds out Hostess pie) … it’s American, get it? Apple pie … to remind you of all the good food you won’t be eating.

Friday, July 18, 2008

July 18, 2008

Sex and the City

Carrie: While single women in New York never make pies, they sometimes make guys.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

July 17, 2008

The Simpsons

Krusty: I could donate these costumes [to Praiseland]. They’re from my Last Supper pie-throwing sketch.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

July 16, 2008

Pushing Daisies

Narrator: In her own way, Olive identified with the abandoned pie.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

July 15, 2008

Title of young adult novel, by Jordan Sonnenblick:

Drums, Girls, and Dangerous Pie

Monday, July 14, 2008

July 14, 2008

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

Jay (to Jason Biggs): You’re the dude who fucked the pie.

James van der Beek: Come on, you stuck your dick in a pie.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

July 13, 2008


Cal: Truth be told, as long as you can carry a tray and fill a pie tin, I don’t care if you give birth while doin’ it.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

July 12, 2008


Tony: Here. Just jam this through his heart. Easy as pie.

Friday, July 11, 2008

July 11, 2008

From a New Yorker article on pie-related books:

A friend, to a journalist writing about pies: You mean, you just go up to complete strangers and talk to them about pies?

Thursday, July 10, 2008

July 10, 2008

That 70's Show

Hyde: You know what your problem is? You’re really cute so no one ever told you to shut your piehole.

Jackie: You think I’m cute?

Hyde: Shut your piehole!

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

July 9, 2008

Special Topics in Calamity Physics, by Marisha Pessl

p. 116: During such moments, I thought to myself, maybe these were my friends, maybe I’d confide in them about sex over rhubarb pie in a diner at 3:00 a.m.

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

July 8, 2008


Booth (to psychologist Dr. Sweets): There’s gotta be other stuff going on here, right?

Sweets: What?

Booth: Transference … paranoia … come on, when I offer her a piece of pie you say it has deeper meaning.

Bones: I don’t like pie.

Booth: Well, apple pie. (To Sweets) She doesn’t like baked pie.

Bones: I don’t like my fruit cooked.

Monday, July 7, 2008

July 7, 2008

Pushing Daisies

Chuck: I thought we should bring pie. That’s what new neighbors do.

Sunday, July 6, 2008

July 6, 2008

The Simpsons

Homer: Spending time with you is more important than any pie-eating contest.

Marge: I thought it was arm wrestling.

Homer: I was in a pie-eating contest on the way home.

Saturday, July 5, 2008

July 5, 2008 - America and Pie headline:

Baseball, apple pie, and kicking your fucking ass: 21 hilariously hyperbolic pro-America songs

Friday, July 4, 2008

July 4, 2008 - America and Pie

Don McClean: So bye-bye Miss American Pie
Drove the Chevy to the levy but the levy was dry

Thursday, July 3, 2008

July 3, 2008 - America and Pie

H. Rap Brown: Violence is as American as cherry pie.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

July 2, 2008 - America and Pie

Statecraft as Soulcraft, by George Will

Pessimism is as American as apple pie – frozen apple pie with a slice of processed cheese.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

July 1, 2008 - America and Pie

Eddie Izzard: Dressed to Kill

(To tune of National Anthem):
And fish in the sky,
And a big monkey pie

Monday, June 30, 2008

June 30, 2008 - America and Pie

Cambridge Spies

Guy Burgess: God bless America. White picket fences, apple pie, Shirley Temple, the Ku Klux Klan, Hiroshima, Nagasaki, the CIA, White Sox, bobby socks, red necks. God bless America!

Sunday, June 29, 2008

June 29, 2008


Jenna: I don’t need no baby. I don’t want no trouble. I just wanna make pies. That’s all I wanna do – make pies.

Saturday, June 28, 2008

June 28, 2008

Pushing Daisies

Olive: Don’t make me cut a bitch.

Verbenius: Hey. I’m just here for pie and conversation, neither of which are cause to call a man a bitch.

Friday, June 27, 2008

June 27, 2008

I Love The New Millenium

Michael Ian Black (re: the film Pearl Harbor): I didn't care about the love triangle, I didn't care about the characters, I just wanted to see them blow up Hawaii. 'Cause Hawaii was really looking for a pie in the face. You know, we're all, "paradise." Hey, Tropical Paradise, how do you like this?

Thursday, June 26, 2008

June 26, 2008

Big Love

Phone rings.

Bill: Yeah. It's me.

Margene: Craving. I need
pie. It's bad.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

June 25, 2008

Nigel Lythgoe, on So You Think You Can Dance

(To a Dallas auditioner) You're like a little cutie apple-pie girl, aren't you?

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

June 24, 2008


Dr. Cox: People used to give me cards and gifts and maybe even a pie … just for doing my job.

Monday, June 23, 2008

June 23, 2008 - America and Pie

E.D. Hirsch, "Building Knowledge" in American Educator

Since the 19th Century ... anti-intellectualism has been as American as apple pie.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

June 22, 2008

AO Scott in the New York Times, reviewing My Blueberry Nights

To claim his fashion magazine sensibility for the cause of high art is a way of ascribing nutritive value to eye candy. And why not? We all need to eat, and why shouldn’t we eat cake? Or pie, as the case may be.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

June 21, 2008

Title of novel, by Karen Stolz:

World of Pies

Friday, June 20, 2008

June 20, 2008

Television without Pity, Recap of Lost

Juliet is sitting alone on the beach like the bald-headed girl at a French-braiding competition. Or the anorexic girl at the pie-eating contest. (I could keep going, but I won’t).

Thursday, June 19, 2008

June 19, 2008

The Simpsons

Homer (upon seeing a trap baited with pie): Mmmm … floor pie.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

June 18, 2008

The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time, by Mark Haddon

p. 86: Then we went to the café and Father had plaice and chips and apple pie and ice cream and a pot of Earl Grey tea and I had my sandwiches and I read the guidebook to the zoo.

And Father said, “I love you very much, Christopher. Don’t you ever forget that ….”

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

June 17, 2008

Let’s Have Another Cup of Coffee, by Irving Berlin

Just around the corner
There’s a rainbow in the sky
So let’s have another cup of coffee
And let’s have another piece of pie.

Monday, June 16, 2008

June 16, 2008

Kelly Millner: Sometimes you don’t know what you’re doin’ when you’re cuttin’ pie … you just get all excited inside.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

June 15, 2008


Gunn: I keep shovelin’ pie into my hole and still feel empty.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

June 14, 2008

Pushing Daisies

Olive: This isn’t Pies ‘R’ Us, Pie City, or Thousands Of Pies In One Place. This is a bell’s on the door, pies-baking, mom and pop place. We chit chat here. … Chit!

Emerson: Chat.

Friday, June 13, 2008

June 13, 2008

An Unquiet Mind (A Memoir of Moods and Madness), by Kay Redfield Jamison

Their mother - a warm, funny, fiery independent, practical, red-hairedIrish Catholic - created a second home for me, and I wandered in and outof their house as I would our own, staying long enough to inhale pie and cookies and warmth and laughter and hours of talk.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

June 12, 2008

Chicken Run

Mrs. Tweedy: It’s a pie machine, you idiot. Chickens go in, pies come out.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

June 11, 2008


Dr. Pomatter: That pie it was … that pie was Biblically good. That’s how good it was. It could win pie contests and ribbons and things.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

June 10, 2008

Pulp Fiction

Jules: Sewer rat may taste like pumpkin pie but I’d never know ‘cause I wouldn’t eat the filthy shit.

Monday, June 9, 2008

June 9, 2008


Monica: I’m gonna go to Joey’s and get the pies.

Joey: Actually, it’s not pies. It’s just pie.

Sunday, June 8, 2008

June 8, 2008

Miss Austen Regrets

Jane Austen (to Mr. Haden): You shall have your sweet wife, all gratitude and devotion. I would wish her to be of a silent turn, somewhat ignorant, full of cold veal pies and green tea in the afternoon.

Saturday, June 7, 2008

June 7, 2008

The Simpsons

Homer’s mom: I’ve realized that the most important thing in my life … is you.

Homer: That’s what your mouth says, but my ears are too smart to believe it. In fact, I don’t even want your pie.

Mom (holds up empty plate): You already ate the whole thing.

Homer: Well, I’m not going to digest it.

Friday, June 6, 2008

June 6, 2008

Buffy The Vampire Slayer

Giles: Xander is in real danger. Are you sure the solution is pie?

Thursday, June 5, 2008

June 5, 2008

Pushing Daisies

Olive: This is a pie house, not some herbal crack den.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

June 4, 2008

Just Shoot Me

Jack: Learning is pie for the mind – mind-pie.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

June 3, 2008

Just Shoot Me

Jack: This isn’t just mind-pie, it’s soul-pie.

Monday, June 2, 2008

June 2, 2008


Sweets: You know, I think it’s interesting, psychologically, how Agent Booth’s constant efforts to persuade you to enjoy fruit pie could be interpreted as a kind of seduction …

Sunday, June 1, 2008

June 1, 2008

Arrested Development

Narrator: The aiport stairway vehicle was the last vestige of the Bluths’ former wealth … also that House of Pies went out of business.

Saturday, May 31, 2008

May 31, 2008

Lifting the Veil, by Calvin Tomkins (New Yorker article on John Currin)

Rachel Feinstein [Currin’s wife], who loves to cook and does it so robustly that John has to work out at the gym every day to stay in shape, had brought the dessert – three pies from the Balthazar bakery.