Wednesday, April 30, 2008

April 30, 2008

Gilmore Girls

Luke: … the every-Wednesday cherry pie

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

April 29, 2008

The Simpsons

Millhouse: I didn’t know your dad was so interested in science.

(Homer looks horrified)

Bart (to Homer): He didn’t say science. He said … pie pants.

Homer: Mmm… pie pants.

Monday, April 28, 2008

April 28, 2008

The New Yorker, from an article on pie-related books

Even the most timid pie—makers guard their recipes aggressively.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

April 27, 2008

Headline, Popwatch blog at

Are you gonna throw bricks at custard pies at George Lucas?

Saturday, April 26, 2008

April 26, 2008

How I Met Your Mother

Lily: Marshall can’t be trusted in the apartment with pies overnight.

Marshall: For the millionth time, sleep eating is a very serious … and delicious … medical condition.

Friday, April 25, 2008

April 25, 2008

Pushing Daisies

Chuck: 50,000 dollars … that makes a lot of pie.

Ned: 25,000. I have a business partner.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

April 24, 2008


Earl: Think I might rather have you be at home makin’ me pies all day long.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

April 23, 2008

Ashlee Simpson, in InStyle magazine, proving her confusion over the definition of the word "sexy"

… if I want to throw on a dress at night and go out to dinner – and be a little sexy – then I’ll wear Child [perfume] . The smell reminds me of pie.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

April 22, 2008

Girl with One Eye, by Florence and the Machine

I said, “hey! Girl with one eye
Get your filthy finger
Out of my
I’ll cut your little heart out
Cause you made me cry."

Monday, April 21, 2008

April 21, 2008

The Root of All Evil

Greg Giraldo (surmising what an African might say when told the Catholic church only allows condom use for married couples in which one partner has AIDs): Well we can’t have any more kids; we live on two bucks a month, and we’re running out of mud pies to feed ‘em. One of us is gonna have to get AIDs.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

April 20, 2008


(Their psychiatrist accuses Booth and Brennan of an inability to talk about non-work topics)

Brennan: After a case, sometimes we have a drink … or coffee … Booth has pie; I don’t like pie.

Booth: You really should just give it a chance.

Brennan: I find it too sweet.

Booth: There! We talked about pie. Nothing to do with work.

Brennan: It is better when we discuss murder.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

April 19, 2008

Gilmore Girls

Lorelai: In my hand, ladies and gentlemen, sits the true advantage of dating a diner owner. I am never more than ten steps away from pie.

Friday, April 18, 2008

April 18, 2008

Northern Exposure

Shelly: Did you see the look on his face last night?

Ruth-Anne: Who’s that, dear?

Shelly: The man in the moon. Just starin’ down as big as an apple pie.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

April 17, 2008

Virgin Suicides

Rannie: I baked a pie full of rat poison.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

April 16, 2008

Special Topics in Calamity Physics, by Marisha Pessl

p. 480: I had no desire to end up in a Foster Home, the Castle in the Sky of which was to be supervised by a pair of retirees named Bill and Bertha, who wielded their Bibles like handguns, asked me to call them “Mamaw” and “Papaw” and got tickled pink every time they stuffed me, their brand-new turkey, with all the fixins (biscuits, poke salad and possum pie).

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

April 15, 2008 -- Happy Tax Day! Spend your refund on pie!

The Simpsons

Marge (singing a song about thrift): When you spy a quarter in a pie

Monday, April 14, 2008

April 14, 2008

The Office (British)

Tim: You gotta look at the whole pie … vis a vis my current life situation.

Dawn: Vis a … hmm … pie!

Sunday, April 13, 2008

April 13, 2008

Pushing Daisies

Olive: Every day, I come in, I pick a pie, I concentrate all my love on that pie.

Saturday, April 12, 2008

April 12, 2008

Ted Allen (on why lesbians don’t have time for comedy): They’ve gotta write a manifesto, cook a vegan pie

Friday, April 11, 2008

April 11, 2008

Andy Richter Controls the Universe

Andy (referring to a colleague who had a heart attack): We had a contest to see who could do the most push-ups – and the prize was

Thursday, April 10, 2008

April 10, 2008


Jenna: Shh, I’m inventin’ a new pie in my head.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

April 9, 2008

The Dark Tower, by Stephen King

Something about how too many eyes spoil the pie, maybe? No. That saying, which he’d heard from Susannah, was about cooks and broth.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

April 8, 2008

How I Got Into College

Arcadia Bible Academy recruiter: Welcome to the Arcadia Bible Academy! Last night, Jesus Christ came down to me in a vision on a flaming pie. He said, I want … what’s your name?

Monday, April 7, 2008

April 7, 2008

Candice Knight: I once knew a guy called Pie. I don’t know why. But it was like, “hey there, Pie.”

Sunday, April 6, 2008

April 6, 2008

My Name Is Earl

Earl: There was no end to what we could do. We were finally livin’ in a world of free pie.

Saturday, April 5, 2008

April 5, 2008

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Spike: Can you fix ‘em?

Willow: Crack a government encryption code on my laptop? Easy as really difficult pie.

Friday, April 4, 2008

April 4, 2008

The Simpsons

Apu: What will it be, Mr. Simpson? Your usual bucket of ice cream covered in miniature pies?

Thursday, April 3, 2008

April 3, 2008

The Onion, headline

Hungry FDA Official Orders Massive Pot Pie Recall

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

April 2, 2008

The Little Friend, by Donna Tartt

p. 191: From the ages of four to seven, Pemberton had eaten no food but chocolate pie: moreover (it was stressed, grimly) a special kind of chocolate pie, which called for condensed milk and all sorts of costly ingredients … the aunts still talked about an occasion when Pem – a guest of Robin’s – had refused lunch at Libby’s house, beating on the table with his fists (“like King Henry the Eighth”) demanding chocolate pie. (“Can you imagine? ‘Mama gives me chocolate pie.’)

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

April 1, 2008

Calvin Trillin:

When it came to poetry, my father was not an absolutist. Pie was his favorite subject for a couplet, but every three or four weeks he would write about something else—perhaps a couplet like

“’Eat your food,’ gently said Mom to little son Roddy.
‘If you don’t, I will break every bone in your body.’”

The next day he would be back to pies --

“Mrs. Trillin’s pecan pie, so nutritious and delicious
Will make a wild man mild and a mild man vicious.”