August 18, 2011

The Office

(Darryl's daughter hands Michael a treat)

Michael: A Hostess apple pie! This is my favorite breakfast... how did you know?

May 11, 2011

Glee

Shopping for prom. Lauren emerges from a dressing room wearing a bright yellow gown.

Lauren: I think I look like a lemon meringue pie.
Brittany: I think you look delicious.

April 7, 2011

Glee

Puck (singing):

That big ass heart can pump two tons of love through her chest
And then sit down and win a lovin' pie-eating contest

February 5, 2011

Community

Jeff (re: fellow-student "Fat" Neil): That kid in there is severely depressed.

Pierce: Oh yeah, is that what he told you? From the looks of it he's been using that line since he was five years old to get an extra slice of pie!

October 13, 2010

Community

(Troy comes upon a wall with a painting of Abed standing in a rainbow tunnel.)

Abed: I made it through. I'm a cartoon now.

Troy: That's impossible.

Abed: Nothing's impossible in here. Animals can talk, your heart is shaped like a heart, and the smell of pie can make you float! You have to believe!

June 23, 2010

Toy Story 3

Bonnie: The ghosts are throwing pies!

June 10, 2010

Joel McHale, The Soup

He's not gay. He's pie-curious.

May 2, 2010

Community

Jeff: I got a B on my nutrition final and I'm celebrating with pie and a dollop of irony.

April 17, 2010

Bones

(While researching which weapons could have made a particular mark on a bone)

Wendell: The blade was double-edged with an identical tapering on both sides.

Hodgins: So ... somebody killed her with a really sharp piece of pie.

April 14, 2010

From the AV Club review of Whipped Lightning (whipped alcohol)

Pumpkin Pie [flavored-whipped booze] brings back memories of hour three of Thanksgiving dinner, but with less yelling.

February 27, 2010

Blades of Glory

Chazz Michael Michaels: ... I remember Boston. And that victory was as sweet as the cream pie for which the town was named.

December 21, 2009

I, of course, am all for sky pie.

November 15, 2009

The Big Bang Theory

Sheldon: If anything happened to my MeeMaw, I'd be one inconsolable moon pie.

October 21, 2009

Mysteries of Pittsburgh

Art: ... when a girl asks you if you like pie, there's really only one answer.

October 18, 2009

Edgar Watson Howe

A boy doesn't have to go to war to be a hero; he can say he doesn't like pie when he sees there isn't enough to go around.

October 3, 2009

Farewell, 'King of the Hill' in Entertainment Weekly

Peggy Hill: Life is a lot like Frito pie. Better when shared with friends, and best with twice the cheese.


Note: What is Frito pie? you may be wondering if you're not from Texas ... Frito pie is not a traditional "pie" at all. It's a pile of Fritos, covered in chili and shredded cheese.

October 2, 2009

Glee

Waiter: Would you like anything else?

Teri: Another piece of grasshopper pie?

Waiter (looking at Teri's three empty plates): What, are you going for the record?

Teri: I'm with child.

August 10, 2009

True Blood

Pie Shop Waitress (with a blank stare, after being asked about a missing server): No ma'am, no sir, I don't know any Cindy. But I can recommend the fried apple pie, the frozen Hawaiian pie, chocolate pecan pie, chess pie, seven-layer Jello pie --

Buster (out of nowhere): They have the peanut butter pie and the Spunky Hollow Honey Pineapple Pie, please Harley?

Sam: We will?

June 6, 2009

Michelle, upon looking at the decadent dessert selections at Gaido's in Galveston:

"Do you have a lettuce pie?"

May 5, 2009

How I Met Your Mother

Marshall: This is a pie chart - describing my favorite bars. And this is a bar graph, describing my favorite pies.