Monday, March 31, 2008

March 31, 2008 - Major League Opening Day

Harry Reasoner: Statistics are to baseball what a flaky crust is to Mom’s apple pie.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

March 30, 2008

Nip/Tuck

Evetta: Where I come from I don’t get lipo to attract a man … I eat another cherry pie and put more junk in my trunk

Saturday, March 29, 2008

March 29, 2008

Jane Eyre, by Charlotte Bronte

Jane: … when there was no time to prepare a regular dinner, which often happened, she would give us a large piece of cold pie, or a thick slice of bread and cheese, and this we carried away with us to the wood … and dined sumptuously.

Friday, March 28, 2008

March 28, 2008

Adam Gopnick, writing on Joseph Cornell in The New Yorker:

He sat in cafeterias drinking coffee and eating pie and staring at girls and going to the movies and reading Mallarme …

Thursday, March 27, 2008

March 27, 2008

Pushing Daisies



Ned: I don’t think someone purposefully damaged our sign to read “Pie Ho.”

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

March 26, 2008

Pulp Fiction

Fabienne: Any time of the day is a good time for pie.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

March 25, 2008

ER

Pratt: Fatty foods bring out the pain.


Patient: I didn’t even eat dinner. I just had some pie.

Pratt: How much pie?

Patient: You know … a pie.

Monday, March 24, 2008

March 24, 2008

Arrested Development

Lindsay (running from a woman they’ve mistaken for their grandmother): Go! Go! It’s not her! Drop the photo album! We’re not in the photo album.

Maeby: Drop the pie!

Sunday, March 23, 2008

March 23, 2008 - Happy Easter!

Melanie: Bunnies are rodents. I don't like them.

Hallie: But they taste amazing. I had bunny rabbit pie the other day.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

March 22, 2008

King of the Hill

Bobby: Someday, someone’s gonna make the world’s largest fruit pie and the next day, I’ll get in the Guinness Book of World Records for eating it.

Friday, March 21, 2008

March 21, 2008

The Simpsons

Krusty: The pie gag’s only funny when the sap’s got dignity.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

March 20, 2008

Committed

Jay: Food can be news – like that series he just did on pies. I had no idea there were so many pies.

Jolene: What I mean is, he wants to be on the front lines shooting current events unfolding, and all these pies and souffl├ęs have really been getting him down.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

March 19, 2008

Waitress

Dawn: Would you also make me your “Falling In Love Chocolate Mousse Pie”? That is my favorite.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

March 18, 2008

Waitress

Dawn: The first guy that pays any attention to me in years and it turns out to be the mad stalking elf. I’m tellin’ you Jenna, your makeup job was too good – and your magic love pie.

Monday, March 17, 2008

March 17, 2008 - Eat pie for St. Pat's Day!

Harold and the Purple Crayon, by Crocket Johnson

The sandy beach reminded Harold of picnics. And the thought of picnics made him hungry. So he laid out a nice simple picnic lunch. There was nothing but pie. But there were all nine kinds of pie that Harold liked best. When Harold finished his picnic there was quite a lot left. He hated to see so much delicious pie go to waste. So Harold left a very hungry moose and a deserving porcupine to finish it up.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

March 16, 2008

Saturday Night Live

Target Lady: Double whammy! (holds up sweatpants and a box of Nilla wafers): I can't wait to sew these footholes shut, fill 'em with potpourri and hang them from the rafters in my attic and then have my friends over to smell it and serve them pie!

Saturday, March 15, 2008

March 15, 2008

Weeds

Andy: It sucks when the pie gets eaten right in front of you and you helped make the pie.

Silas: What pie?

Andy: It’s a metaphorical pie.

Friday, March 14, 2008

March 14, 2008

A House by the Sea, by Joann Ryder

We’d walk in the rain,
Those seals and I
Till we’d stop for a slice

Of fish-eyed pie

Thursday, March 13, 2008

March 13, 2008

Winter's Tale, by Mark Helprin

p. 383, Mrs. Gamely: “… so many new and wonderful words being generated, that the storehouses and closets are overflowing. We are tub-flooded with neologisms, smoked fish, and fruit pies.” She had even enclosed in the letter itself a very thin and very delicious cherry pie.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

March 12, 2008

Law and Order

Cutter (playing one brother off another): It’s the Emerson brothers bake-off. First pie out of the oven gets the prize.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

March 11, 2008

Pushing Daisies

Vivian: Pies for breakfast always remind me of mother.

Lily: Vermouth always reminds me of mother.

Monday, March 10, 2008

March 10, 2008

Friends

Monica: I haven’t won anything since the sixth grade.

Chandler: Pie-eating contest?

Sunday, March 9, 2008

March 9, 2008 - My birthday

The Office (American)

Creed: Today is actually my birthday and I wanna pick the cake.


Jim: What do you want?

Creed: I want pie. I want peach pie.

Jim: You want birthday pie?

Creed: Or a nice cobbler.

Saturday, March 8, 2008

March 8, 2008

Catlin: It's a pie-sized pie. It's not a gigantic party pie.

Friday, March 7, 2008

March 7, 2008

Saturday Night Live

Nathan: (Chris Kattan): Karen, would you – would you chew my pie for me?


Karen (Juliana Margulies): Nathan, I would love to chew this apple pie for you.

Kattan: Yaay! Yaay! Apple pie!

Thursday, March 6, 2008

March 6, 2008

Gilmore Girls

Emily: I have no interest in having a neighbor waltz in with a pie … I would kill myself – and the neighbor.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

March 5, 2008 - Hillary's still in it

The Daily Show

Dan Rather (on election results): She ran away with it like a hobo with a sweet potato pie.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

March 4, 2008

Just Shoot Me!

Donnie: Chicken pot, chicken pot, chicken pot pie!

Monday, March 3, 2008

March 3, 2008

Pushing Daisies

Chuck: But … I don’t know anything about you since you were nine.

Ned: It’s pretty much I bake pies and wake the dead. I live a very sheltered life.

Sunday, March 2, 2008

March 2, 2008

Silver, by Edward Chupack

Long John Silver: A lie is peach pie. The truth is porridge.

Saturday, March 1, 2008

March 1, 2008

Never Been Kissed

Josie: You know what’s a weird word? Fork. Oh my God, someone ate my entire pie. I don’t know how that happened.