July 31, 2008

Special Topics in Calamity Physics, by Marisha Pessl

p. 45: And thus it was with great fanfare Dad unveiled over rhubarb pie at the Qwik Stop Diner outside of Limain, Kansas (“Ding! Dong! The witch is dead,” he sang facetiously, causing the waitress to frown at us suspiciously) that for the entirety of my high school senior year … we would reside in a single location.

July 30, 2008

A Winter's Tale, by Mark Helprin

p. 316, Virginia Gamely: “In all the world there’s only one saxophone pie (it’s made with peaches, resin, blueberries, and mint) …”

July 29, 2008

The Simpsons

Ron Howard: You can’t lose the pie. The pie’s your heart.

July 28, 2008

King of the Hill

Dale: I can’t afford to be out of commission for three days. As one of Arlen’s leading skeptics I’ve got my fingers in a lot of pies.

July 27, 2008

Reaper

Sock: Hello … Mrs. Carmona? Hi. It’s Sock. Remember me? I just … uh … drivin’ by, I thought I smelled some of that delicious p – (finds her shoe, suspiciously abandoned on the floor) PIE?

July 26, 2008

Patty Griffin, Making Pies

5am
Here I am
Walking the block
To TableTalk
You could cry or die
Or just make pies all day
I'm making pies
Making pies
Making pies
Making pies

July 25, 2008

Veronica Mars

Logan (in Southern accent): Ah do declare, that was the finest Frito pie I believe I have ever tasted.

July 24, 2008

Pushing Daisies

Ned: I’m a purist. I like that we only serve traditional pies in the Pie Hole … not these hybrids.

July 23, 2008

Sex and Candy, by Marcy Playground

There she was … like double cherry pie.
There she was … like disco super-fly
I smell sex and candy …

July 22, 2008

Eva McGuire: I don’t like a cooked fruit pie – never have. Never will.

July 21, 2008

My Name is Earl

Earl: I love pie … and as people do when they eat pie, we talked.

July 20, 2008

Gilmore Girls

Lorelai: Well, I’m attracted to pie, doesn’t mean I feel the need to date pie.

July 19, 2008 - America and Pie

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Anya (as Giles is readying to go to England): We brought you some lovely parting gifts (holds out Hostess pie) … it’s American, get it? Apple pie … to remind you of all the good food you won’t be eating.

July 18, 2008

Sex and the City

Carrie: While single women in New York never make pies, they sometimes make guys.

July 17, 2008

The Simpsons

Krusty: I could donate these costumes [to Praiseland]. They’re from my Last Supper pie-throwing sketch.

July 16, 2008

Pushing Daisies

Narrator: In her own way, Olive identified with the abandoned pie.

July 15, 2008

Title of young adult novel, by Jordan Sonnenblick:

Drums, Girls, and Dangerous Pie

July 14, 2008

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back

Jay (to Jason Biggs): You’re the dude who fucked the pie.

James van der Beek: Come on, you stuck your dick in a pie.

July 13, 2008

Waitress

Cal: Truth be told, as long as you can carry a tray and fill a pie tin, I don’t care if you give birth while doin’ it.

July 12, 2008

Reaper

Tony: Here. Just jam this through his heart. Easy as pie.

July 11, 2008

From a New Yorker article on pie-related books:

A friend, to a journalist writing about pies: You mean, you just go up to complete strangers and talk to them about pies?

July 10, 2008

That 70's Show

Hyde: You know what your problem is? You’re really cute so no one ever told you to shut your piehole.

Jackie: You think I’m cute?

Hyde: Shut your piehole!

July 9, 2008

Special Topics in Calamity Physics, by Marisha Pessl

p. 116: During such moments, I thought to myself, maybe these were my friends, maybe I’d confide in them about sex over rhubarb pie in a diner at 3:00 a.m.

July 8, 2008

Bones

Booth (to psychologist Dr. Sweets): There’s gotta be other stuff going on here, right?

Sweets: What?

Booth: Transference … paranoia … come on, when I offer her a piece of pie you say it has deeper meaning.

Bones: I don’t like pie.

Booth: Well, apple pie. (To Sweets) She doesn’t like baked pie.

Bones: I don’t like my fruit cooked.

July 7, 2008

Pushing Daisies

Chuck: I thought we should bring pie. That’s what new neighbors do.

July 6, 2008

The Simpsons

Homer: Spending time with you is more important than any pie-eating contest.

Marge: I thought it was arm wrestling.

Homer: I was in a pie-eating contest on the way home.

July 5, 2008 - America and Pie

Avclub.com headline:

Baseball, apple pie, and kicking your fucking ass: 21 hilariously hyperbolic pro-America songs

July 4, 2008 - America and Pie

Don McClean: So bye-bye Miss American Pie
Drove the Chevy to the levy but the levy was dry

July 3, 2008 - America and Pie

H. Rap Brown: Violence is as American as cherry pie.

July 2, 2008 - America and Pie

Statecraft as Soulcraft, by George Will

Pessimism is as American as apple pie – frozen apple pie with a slice of processed cheese.

July 1, 2008 - America and Pie

Eddie Izzard: Dressed to Kill

(To tune of National Anthem):
And fish in the sky,
And a big monkey pie …